| Ram T-Shirt |
| $17.99 (shipping included) | |
 |
|
Black and white on brown.
When we heard that alligators,
vultures, and wild cats make terrible pets, the Doomtree crew opted to
instead purchase a ram as a sort of status symbol. We figured a ram is
really just a bad-lookin’ man-sheep, right? Sheep are cool to hang
out with, right? Wrong. Turns out rams are jerks. Jeff ate all the cereal,
broke a bunch of electronics while we were at the mall, sent Cecil to
the hospital three times in one weekend, and, honestly, all of the shitballs
dangling from his wool just became unbearable to look at (how do you get
shit on your chest?!). So we did the only thing you can when you’re
unable to cope with a bad choice of pet: we “donated” him
to an orphanage at 3am. We hope you adorable little urchins can give him
the love and attention we couldn’t. Long story short, this shirt
is in honor of a good–but ultimately incompatible–friend.
God bless you, Jeffrey, wherever you are.