From P.O.S

P.O.SHomepage, News, P.O.S

I acknowledge that this apology is millions of miles away from being enough for the people I hurt, and I know that you’ll read this apology and seethe, mourn, or scoff. I know that the people I’ve hurt aren’t interested in hearing my statement, or anyone’s.

There are the people who DO need answers, and DO need to see my contrition and that I own it–that I am trying to oblige any act that could be considered healing.

I’ve spent a lifetime hiding my faults—I am adept at doing it. Even those closest to me don’t know what I’m about, how I live my life, or handle my relationships. I’m writing this because it’s imperative to be honest and apologize for the pain that I’ve caused. I owe truth to the people I’ve hurt. As a man–as a person–I’ve got to be and do better.

I have used womxn--made a pattern of deceiving and manipulating them, sometimes for years. I have made big commitments I didn’t intend to keep. I have carried on multiple relationships at once without honestly informing everyone involved–depriving them of the ability to make informed decisions about their sexual health and big life choices. I have confused sexual gratification for ego gratification and meaningful intimacy, causing many womxn real and lasting pain. No one deserves to be treated like that. It is selfish and inexcusable.

My reckless behavior has hurt my partners, my family, and my friends in Doomtree–I lied to my crew and my closest friends in the same way I lied to the womxn in my life.

I’m fully aware of the fact that I’ve let down fans as well, people who rightfully expected better of me, both as a solo artist and as a member of a Doomtree crew that has stood for equality, inclusion, and the underdog for twenty years.

I lied because I am afraid people will think less of me, or leave me, if I tell them the truth. Living this way has caused more pain than I ever could have possibly imagined. That is on me and I bear the full weight of the damage I’ve done.

Until this point, I have always put my music first, but now I need to focus on getting my head and my heart right. That means getting professional help for myself, and trying to aid in the healing process for those I’ve hurt, if they’re interested. In the near term, that means having honest, difficult conversations offline, and stepping away from music to fully focus on this work. It will be my life’s work to make amends for what I can, to learn to live more honestly in the world, and to become a better human. I am sorry.